Monday, 29 September 2008

No Up Chapter 8 - Misty Pornographic Memories

Misty pornographic memories and cyber masturabation. Yes, it's the new chapter of No Up!

Noksalika recalls her early life in classical music and pornography, and meets Czioc in cyberspace - but still in her disguise. Oh, and the monster's back...

Check it out now!
www.jezkemp.co.uk/noup

Sunday, 28 September 2008

End of a band

What a fun gig. Had a majorly good time - definitely one of the best gigs we've done, if just for sheer fun rather than actual quality. Felt great to have a busy crowd, with people even singing down the front. Was great to finish things off in style.

The other two seemed very sad about it, more than me - I did my grieving for the band earlier this year - but it was a sad occasion as well as a happy one. We'd been in a band before, but this one characterised all our lives for 4 years, so even though things wound down at the close of 2007, this was marking the end of a personal era.

Music is what we do. Matt and Jon have The Library Suits, and may good fortune be upon them (as if they need good fortune with songs like these). I've got my own stuff, and you can expect to see me again.

Onwards to the future.

Friday, 26 September 2008

Last gig last gig last gig

Well it's the last gig of my old band F451 you may or may not have heard of.

More importantly for me and this blog, it's the last time I get to wield an electric guitar at the helm of a rock band before I head off to New Zealand. Acoustic from here on out.

So yeah, should be fun, will let you know how it goes =]

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

Favourite months?

May and September are my favourite months, because they are the same.

"No they're not!" you say. "They have different names for a start."

Fair play. But what I mean is I like them because they bring out the same feeling in me - the promise of interesting, better times ahead.

July? Sticky.
November? Cold, wet.
February? Fuck off.
March? It's STILL cold!

May is the first time of the year, almost every year, when the sun comes out and MEANS something. It's crappy and cold and wet and crappy and cold and the suddenly BANG - the sun comes out, and it's warm at the same time. And you think "wow, England's not shit all year round!" And everyone in England takes their tops off.

But September? After 3 years of going to university, I now have an instinctive reaction to early Autumn which reminds me of going back to the lights, the action, the new people of a new term at university. (For some reason this is stronger than 12 years of school where the new term means "Summer has ended, WHERE DID SUMMER GO?". I can't explain this.)

It's something in the air, in the first slightly damp, cool sniff, that brings an excitement out in me. And I just got a whiff of this today.

P.S. Drink + 3 days + boat + 8 mates + pirate gear = IMMENSE

Friday, 19 September 2008

Pirates, anti-beards, Itsa Bitsa, His Noodly Appendage ... and NO UP Chapter 7

Slightly early this week: No Up Chapter 7 - A mission. And a monster.

Lights, monsters, action! The pace picks up when terror strikes the Migration! Check out one of the best chapters yet:
www.jezkemp.co.uk/noup

This chapter is hot on the heels of the wonderful short story Sir Ralph Beef Wellington & The Incredible Loophole! because tomorrow I'm off on a boating holiday. I say tomorrow, really I mean later this morning - earlier we had our last band practice for the last F451 gig, and now, long after midnight, I have to conjure a pirate costume for our boating adventures out of some random bits of rubbish and a tube of glue like Itsa Bitsa. (Okay, does anyone remember Itsa Bitsa? Wikipedia is empty, and even the mighty Google has nothing on it!)

We've all been growing beards for the last 2½ weeks for this, except at the age of 25, it turns out this is something I can't do. On my face is some stringy blonde fur, or as I like to refer to it, the "anti-beard".

Completely coincidentally it's International Talk Like A Pirate Day today (Friday 19th September), and avast me hearties, ye better talk like a pirate! For those wishing to add a religious theme, pray to His Noodly Greatness the Flying Spaghetti Monster - on the serious side, he's about dinosaurs and our kids' education! On the jokey side, it's about the connection between global warming and pirates ... and any religion where heaven has a beer volcano and a stripper factory has MY attention.

Mad? Yes, I'll have 7 please.



P.S. yarrrrrr

Thursday, 18 September 2008

Sir Ralph Beef Wellington & The Incredible Loophole!

Ahoy! I've written a new short story!

It's a wonderfully amusing story about 2 men and their quest to find the loophole in the International Dateline.

You can find it under the Short Stories section on the website, and under "Notes" if you're looking on Facebook.

Comments are naturally welcome - if you like it, please post the link on a friend's wall!

The story stemmed from an idea I had for a longer story - should I expand it into a bigger book? Or maybe Sir Ralph Beef Wellington's adventures could become a small series...
Oh and I also fully I admit getting the name from an existing character on TV - it was just a working title but it stuck (especially with me going to Wellington in NZ).

Onwards to yesterday, and the day before!

Cheers
Jez

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

No Up Chapter 6 - Sport. (and birthday.)

"To live successfully as a beautiful girl is to knowingly live a lie..."

Hello everybody
Philosophy and action in the new chapter of No Up - Noksalika tries to lose Hanaman at a large sports stadium, and meets a dark handsome stranger, and a shapeshifting demon. It all starts kicking off now!
www.jezkemp.co.uk/noup

It was my birthday on the weekend - am now the grand old age of 25. Celebrated by going to London and dipping my head in the Thames. No really.

Got a new short story up on the website soon, another in the pipeline, plus a couple of reviews.

Hope you're all well!
Jx

Sunday, 7 September 2008

No Up banners + Chapter 5 - Collection

Guys guys guys! Online now is Chapter 5 of NO UP, with sex and talk of sexy girls, dreams, the strange biology behind carrying the dead, and more of that charasmatic dead person inside Czioc's head.

Banners!
Enjoying the book? Tell friends about it with these quote banners. Simply copy/download them, then put them up on your myspace, facebook, bebo, orkut, whatever you like!
There's also a simple picture one at the end if you prefer.
Thanks!

http://www.jezkemp.co.uk/noup












Does anyone else enjoy running?

Well, "enjoy" might be the wrong word. I was out today on something like a 60-minute run round Hylands park, and out in the pissing rain and mud, "enjoy" isn't really the word I'd use for the feeling you get from it.

Running for an hour is a long time for many, not so long for some. Some do it properly in order to take part in marathons and 5/10km runs - I had a friend who did the London marathon, and his training schedule seemed INSANE. Then there's others who just do it for health and fitness, raise your endurance, burn off calories. (These two might well be related.)

And then there's people like me ... I like running as a way of keeping fit, but there's something very solitary about it - even running with a bunch of other people, it's still just you and the distance to be eaten up. Maybe as an egomaniac who's used to doing things by myself all my life, I enjoy a challenge where it's purely me on my own, and your own body is as much a team mate as a barrier to be overcome.

Whatever. Does anyone else do running?

Monday, 1 September 2008

No Up Chapter 4 - The appearance of shyness

Chapter 4 of NO UP is now online - we follow Noksalika in her new identity, learn more about her reasons for escaping, and meet a rather pleasant if strange new character...

As usual, you can find it on the NO UP ministe www.jezkemp.co.uk/noup.